Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Yeah... so, I know it's been a while, and I'm sorry.

It's just that stupid Blogger won't let me open my own stupid blog hardly ever, so I got a little frustrated with it and gave up.


I got a Tumblr. And I'm gonna use that from now on because it's more user friendly and it doesn't hate me like Blogger does. So, if you still wanna follow me, you can go to this link: http://fueledbyfobandpanic.tumblr.com/ And check out what else this insane mind has been thinking.

Lots of stuff about a new guuuuy. And no, he's not my boyfriend. -__- Yet.

So, buh bye, Blogger. Hello, Tumblr!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Oh, how it's been so long. I'm so sorry I've been gone.

Hello, my freaks of nature. By the way, if you hadn't noticed, I quoted We're So Starving by Panic At The Disco. With a few changed words, of course.

Anywho... I decided to write in here for the hell of it. Why not tell people my thoughts about certain things in life? Whether people read them or not... I don't know.

Does anyone else get a little day dreamy walking around in Lowes or Home Depot? It's like, I'll look at all these different appliances and such and pick out what I'd want in MY house. In my dream house. It seems silly, I know, since I won't be moving into a house of my own for quite a while, but... you know, I can't help but dream. My head is in the clouds 90-95% of the time, anyway. Maybe that's why I have such bad memory.

So, something totally epic happened today. And possibly life changing. Today... I got my first pair of Converse. Picture of me wearing them riiiight here:

Awesome, right? I love the look of the classic black. THANK YOU, GRANDMA.

Short blog today. Don't feel like talking to a blank space of nothingness. More blogs later, peeps. Be patient. Because my blogs are totally on popular demand. Pfft.

Peeeace, loooove, and Paaaatrick.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Now selling advice.

Okay, you all know how "wise" I am, right? Well, to be absolutely fair, I will share my wisdom with you each time I write in this... more so than usual. I'll have at least one life lesson in each one, which will of course have it's own story. I learn the hard way, unfortunately. I don't get good advice from people, only myself. Lucky you, I have two today.

1. If someone is participating in something called Day Of Silence, don't bother them with stupid questions.

Story: Today, I did participate in DOS. For those of you that don't know about it, it's basically for gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender rights. My friend told me about it this morning and I thought it was a good idea. So, I went through almost ALL of the day, completely silent (except when I had to yell at my teacher about something), and then HE comes along. Andrew, my friend who says he's not gay but really kind of is. Now, he talks CONSTANTLY. Which, I get annoyed with. But it's particularly annoying when you're trying to keep quiet. I was in Biology with him and despite the fact that I politely showed him my note that I chose not to speak today FOR A GOOD CAUSE, he still insisted on asking me dumb questions. He claims that he "kept forgetting" that I was doing this, but what person is THAT forgetful? So, several times, I had to break my silence to answer his dumbass questions, which really pissed me off. The thing only lasted during school ours and I was so close! But then HE had to come along and ruin it. So, people, what I'm trying to say is DO NOT speak to a person who chooses not to speak. Especially if it's a good cause.

2. Be conscious of the other people around you in the movie theatre.

Story: I went to see Sunshine Cleaning today. And, I was patiently waiting for the movie to start and then here comes this couple walking in. The lady, she decides to plop down RIGHT NEXT TO ME, even though there were five open seats so she could've scooted over. But nooooo, just sat right next to me. Hasn't anyone sent her to MTES (Movie Theatre Ettiquette School)? So, then the lady, who I will call Chatty Cathy (you'll see why soon), starts eating popcorn. SHE CHEWS WITH HER MOUTH OPEN. And she crunched soooo fucking loud! My mom, who was sitting right next to me, could even hear her. And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, the movie started. This is where Tommy Talks-a-Lot comes in (her husband or whatever). He was the first one to belt out some sort of strangled laughter when something only sort of funny happened. And she followed suit, also having an equally obnoxious and loud laugh. Worst thing is, they laughed at parts that weren't funny! Like, this one part where an old lady lost her husband to suicide. They, for some reason, thought this was funny and started hackling and carrying on. How in the hell is that funny? Same thing happened when a house was burned down. Laughter. And here's where I almost completely lost it. THEY DID THE LOUD WHISPER THING. It'd be like, "Who is that?!" "That's the mother!" "Ohhhhh!" Just being loud as hell! How am I supposed to enjoy a movie when all this is happening? Luckily, I did like the movie and I was actually able to pay attention despite their attempts of trying to piss me off. I was THIS CLOSE to needing the Sunshine Cleaners.

I guess that's all for today. There will be more wisdom, I promise. Peace, love, and Patrick. ♥

Friday, April 10, 2009

Panic At The Disco doesn't eat nails for breakfast and tacks for snacks. But Patrick Stump does.

Can you believe that I'm back on this thing again? Absolutely amazing! Right now, I have that pealing face mask on and this time I didn't forget to not put it on my eyebrows. Yay for me.

So, I was reading Alex Evans' blog again and his most recent one is about him hitting over one million different viewers. And about how happy he is that people actually care about what he had to say. Well, Alex, that is a lot of people, but I can give you three reasons why you have so many viewers. One, you're famous. Two, you're famous. And three, you're fucking famous! Now, I'm not saying this out of hatred towards him or anything, I just think it's funny that he's surprised about it. Did I mention that he was absolutely gorgeous?

Has anyone heard about a new Fall Out Boy music video coming out? I heard from someone that they shot a video in England for She's My Winona. I really hope it's true because I absolutely loooove that song. It's one of my favorites. Though, it's really hard to pick a favorite off Folie A Deux because all of the songs are so amazing. But anyway, if there is a video, I cannot wait until it comes out. I hope there's even more Patrick in this one. :)

Oh, God, I just thought of something. The other day on Oprah, there was this show about parents having the sex talk with their kids. My mom and I already had this talk, so I thought we'd be okay watching it. Well... not quite. Of course, they just had to say that parents should have a more detailed talk with their parents about sex. And, they said that you should bring up VIBRATORS. Fucking vibrators! Like I want my mom to hand me a vibrator and say, "Okay, go into your room for a half an hour and have fun." I reeeeally hope she doesn't. I would fucking die. I NEVER talk about sex with my mom. I just get my information from the internet and my older friends on Facebook. Like, my wife, Trinity, is very helpful in that area. She's a nurse and she's also experienced in that area. So, why would I need mom? Ugh, and then she had to ask if I had any questions. I just kept my head down and said no. Thank God, she dropped the subject. I guess my mom would be an expert on sex considering how many guys she's fucked. Her list is probably a mile long. It's disgusting.

I was home sick today. Still throwing up and all that. But hey, at least that got me a whopping five day weekend. Best thing is, I got to talk to Trinity a lot these past two days. We talk everyday. Even though she lives in Canada, she's like my best friend. Or pretty much like the older sister I never had. Did I mention she's twenty? I know, it's weird for a fourteen year old to talk to a twenty year old, but we get along really well. Besides, I have older friends than her anyway. I'm very mature for my age, which is why I don't have many friends in my age group. And I have no problem with that. Older friends means better advice.

Well, I better peel this shit off my face now. I can barely move my mouth. Peace, Love, and Patrick.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Read me.

I haven't written in this thing in a while, but I guess I might as well start. Not that anyone cares about what I have to say. Anyway...

I was browsing the internet and I found some fan site for a guy named Alex Evans. He's about 18 and lives in Canada. What he's famous for, I don't know. He's in some band, but nothing special, I guess. He has a blog you might have heard of. http://alexevans.net/ (click the link!) This guy... he's a real mystery to me. I'd like to know how he got famous besides this clothing line he apparently has. Why do people like him so much? Now, the reason why he facinates me is because I see his pictures every single time I type in the word 'emo' in Google.

When I first saw his picture, I thought he was some random emo guy. And, by the way, he is absolutely gorgeous. Beautiful blue eyes, dark brown to black hair, nice lips... just a picture perfect kinda guy. I'd like to talk to him one day. It probably won't happen, but it'd be nice. He sounds kinda like me, actually. Likes things to be simple, doesn't get along with a lot of people, too mature for our age... you'd think we were the same person.

Hm, but what if he thinks I'm too immature for him? I highly doubt he would as I have like 20- 30 something year olds as my friends on Facebook, but still... I can be a tad immature when I'm extremely bored. If I do ever talk to him, I just hope I don't screw it up...

In other news, I am really getting into a little film I'd like to call The Moustachette. You may have heard of it. It's written and directed by Patrick Stump (loooove), he also stars in the film along with Ryan Key from Yellowcard and Pete Wentz. Now, when I heard that he was in this film (not a movie, a film), I was already in. But when I saw the trailer... now I know for sure that I want to see it. It looks fantastic! Here's the link to the trailer if you haven't seen it already: http://moustachette.com/blog/

I would've just embedded the trailer, but my computer is being uberly gay and won't let me view my site because I put it on there. So annoying. Sorry about that.

Looks great, eh? I don't know about you, but I'm excited. But the thing is, it's not going to be in theatres. BUT, it will be in various film festivals. So, if you want to see it, you better contact the nearest film festival and try to convince them to show it. Either that, or you can wait until the DVD comes out. I don't think I can wait that long.

So, you know that Twitter I was complaining about? Well, first of all, that's a fake Patrick (duh), and secondly... now I'm addicted to Twitter. Like, seriously, I'm on it almost all the time. Now, Patrick doesn't have a Twitter, but Pete, Joe, and Andy have one. Just look for petewentz, trohman, and FUCKCITY and you'll have them. Not to mention thisisryanross, brendonuriesays, amazondotjon, and thespencersmith. That's right, Panic At The Disco is now on Twitter. Do you still have a reason not to get a Twitter? I didn't think so. They also have all of My Chemical Romance, Cobra Starship, and much much more. Now, I'm a Twittering fool. Now, if only Patrick would get his ass on there...

Guess that's all for now. Don't want to talk too much. Now, I must go Facebook and Twitter like a maniac.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

This proves that I'm truly bored...

Let's play this game (called when you catch fire...). I will write down the alphabet and then write the first word or phrase that I think of.

A- Anyone can dance... except me.

B- Brendon is fine as hell!

C- Crap, I still have to practice the violin.

D- Duh duh duh.... Mom. D:

E- Excellent... I have chapstick!

F- Fall Out Boy rocks my socks!

G- Great googly moogly.

H- Hell is not as bad as it seems.

I- I wanna scream "I love you" at the top of my lungs.

J- Jello is not my dessert choice. XP

K- Kangaroo Jack.

L- Llama llama llama llama llama llama llama!!!

M- Mmmmm.... Ryan. :9

N- Nom nom nom, chewin' on a Patrick bulge cookie.

O- Old people are cool... especially when they make you things.


Q- Quack quack, I'm a cow!

R- Ryan Ross... Mmmmm....

S- Stumpford wives. :D

T- Try being me for one day and see how hard it is to stay sane.

U- Uhm-brrr-ella ella ella aye aye aye.

V- Visit me at the Fall Out Boy Insane Assylum.

W- Wow, I have a big puppy next to me on the couch!

X- X is a hard letter.

Y- Yummay, I love the FOB and PATD boys.


Okay, songs. Some I like, some don't.

A- A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me"- Fall Out Boy

B- But It's Better If You Do- Panic At The Disco

C- Camisado- Panic At The Disco

D- Dance Or Die- Family Force 5

E- Everybody Get Up- Salt-N-Peppa (My mom thought of this...)

F- Fabulous- High School Musical 2 (I know, I could've done better...)

G- Golden- Fall Out Boy

H- Hold On- Avril Lavigne

I- I Write Sins, Not Tragedies- Panic At The Disco

J- Janie's Got A Gun- Aerosmith

K- Kids Of America- Kim Wilde (That was on Dance Dance Revolution...)

L- Lullaby- Fall Out Boy (Awww... best song on Folie A Deux!)

M- Moving Pictures- Fall Out Boy

N- Never Too Late- Three Days Grace

O- Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued- Fall Out Boy

P- Pavlove- Fall Out Boy

Q- (This is the only song I could think of) Quit Playing Games With My Heart- Backstreet Boys

R- Reinventing The Wheel To Run Myself Over- Fall Out Boy

S- Saturday- Fall Out Boy

T- The (Shipped) Gold Standard (Yay!)

U- Umbrella (ella ella...)

V- Vogue- Madonna (Strike a pose...)

W- w.a.m.s.

X- (This is hard.) X- Girlfriend- Family Force 5

Y- Yule Shoot Your Eye Out- Fall Out Boy

Z- Zero- Hawk Nelson

This was really hard. I had to look up a lot of them. But I know all of the songs, just so you know.

Okay, that was enough fun for one day. I think I'm done here.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Well, this is just sad...

Okay, why do I bother writing on this blog when no one reads it? Come on, people, throw me a freakin' bone here!

I know why I write here. Because I can say whatever I want. Like, fuck you! And, kiss my ass! Uhm, and I fucked Brendon Urie! Yeah, that's right, I said it. It's not true, but I said it. Oh, and I'm gonna kick your ass! Yep, that's right. I'm gonna kick your ass! Oooo, I bet your scared now. Are you sweatin' bullets? I bet you are.

Well, that was... stupid...

Stupid blog, I should be writing my story (if my stupid flash drive would cooperate with me!).

Oh, I know what I should do. I'm gonna post my story that I posted on facebook and ficwad. Heehee, Brendon read it (well, part of it) and said it was icky. And he said some things about seeing Ryan's penis and he said, "What, I haven't touched it lately."...... Wow, that's really giving my mind dirty thoughts. Mmmm... Ryden dirty (another thing he said. XD).

Well, here it is: What a Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy.

Brendon and Ryan One-shot. You know you love 'em. :)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Him." I whispered. I was laying on my bed. But there was no one beside me. Just that taunting picture of him that never left my side.

Everything about him, from his big chocolate brown eyes to his soft warm lips, I just can't get out of my mind.

Out of my mind. That's one way to describe myself. Maybe even insane. But it's not my fault. It's his.

He made me feel this way, he's the one who makes my heart ache like it caught on fire, and he's the one that left me like this. Alone.

I'm sure he didn't mean to do it. After all, I am his "best friend".

I laughed, thinking about what he said to me at his wedding.

"Ryan, no matter what happens, I'll always love you."

That would've meant something to me. If he wasn't drunk.

How long has it been since I've seen him? A month? A year? I looked over at my calendar.

Two days. Damn, I could've sworn it had been longer than that. We don't spend enough time together. Only once a week.

How can I stay away from the love of my life for 313 days and 1,144 hours out of the year?

I had to call him. Just to hear his voice. I might even hang up after he says hello.

Picking up the phone, I dialed his number that I had memorized by heart.

Ring one. Ring two. Ring three. And shortly after the third ring, he answered breathlessly.


I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. "H-hey, Brendon."

"Hey, Ryan, how are you?" He asked warmly. God, he made the most simple phrase sound like something dirty.

"I'm fine. Um, do you want to do something tonight? I know it's not friday, but-"

He cut me off. "Of course, I always have time for you. Where do you want to go?"

My heart pounded with excitement and absolute terror. "Um, I don't know, where do you want to go?"

"Well, we could go to a bar or something." He suggested. I frowned, thankful that he couldn't see it. A bar is too noisy, no privacy at all. I wanted to actually enjoy my moments with Brendon.

"How about we go somewhere more quiet?" I hoped that he would go for it.

He stayed silent, though I could practically hear him thinking. I prayed for him to suggest something more romantic.

"What about a movie? That's always fun."

I grinned. Perfect. "Sounds great! Uh, how about I meet you there in about an hour?"

"Yeah, an hour would be great."

We exchanged our goodbyes, and I quickly hung up the phone. I had to get ready. Because as of now, I am in my pajamas and I haven't taken a shower in two days.

I turned the water on, letting it get nice and hot before I got in. The harshness of it burned my skin, but I ignored it, pouring liquid soap onto a washcloth. I made sure to wash every single inch of my body, covering myself with the strongest smelling soap I could find.

After I rinsed, I got out and immediately started to blow dry my hair. I looked at the clock on my phone.

3:15. Shit, I only have 45 minutes before I have to be there.

After my hair was completely dry, I rushed to my closet to pick out something to wear. Unfortunately, I hadn't done laundry in a while.

I finally settled on jeans and a sweater, not wanting to be too dressed up.

I checked my hair in the mirror one last time before I left. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My heart felt like it was going to explode and my tongue started to swell. This happened every time I was expecting to see him. Why was I so nervous? He's my best friend. I shouldn't feel so...

Scared. I feel scared. Why? I have no idea.

Before I was mentally stable, I was there, sitting in the parking lot.

Okay, Ross, get it together. Remember, he's your friend. Your best friend.

I stepped out of the car and made my way to the entrance of the theater. He was standing by the front door.

"God, he looks so beautiful." I muttered under my breath. He had on a fitted t-shirt and a jacket on. Not to mention his skin tight jeans.

When he saw me, he smiled, and I forgot how to breath. It was when he said hi when I took in the cold December air, making me cough.

"Hi, Brendon." I choked out, still coughing a little.

He patted my back. "Hey, Ryan. Are you okay?"

I looked into his worried eyes. I couldn't believe that he actually cared. "Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go in before my lungs get frost bite."
With drinks and a tub of popcorn between us, the movie started. I wasn't sure what movie we were watching, but it was something that Brendon wanted to see.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't concentrate on the movie. My mind, his body, were distracting me. I stared down at his arm that was at his side, begging him silently to come a little closer, just enough to come in contact with mine. He didn't move.

I sighed, giving up. Might as well enjoy the movie. I thought. My stomach growled. I reached for the popcorn, not taking my eyes away from the screen. I felt something big and warm in the tub. I grabbed it, looking down. It was Brendon's hand. I quickly released it, blushing deeply. Out of the corner of my eye, I could've sworn that I saw him smirking.
Stepping outside, I felt snowflakes tickle my face. Looking up, I saw the little white specks falling from the black sky.

"It's snowing." Brendon said, looking up at the sky with me.

I nodded. "Yeah, it is. It's very pretty."

"You sure are." He breathed into my ear.

I froze. Did he say what I think he said? "What?"

He didn't respond. But what he did do was press his soft warm lips against mine. My heart pounded, my body numb. His tongue begged for entrance inside my mouth, and I let it, parting my lips slightly. Though it was cold, I was starting to get over-heated.

I moaned quietly in protest when he pulled his lips away. His forehead rested on mine and both of us were breathing heavily. He kissed me lightly on my lips. "Do you love me?"

"I, uh-" I stammered.

"I said do you love me?" He repeated, demanding an answer.

A tear rolled down my cheek and he wiped it away with his thumb. "Yes, Brendon, I do."

He pulled me into a tight hug, kissing my temple. He pulled away and took my hand, walking me towards my car. It was warm and inviting, I didn't want to let it go when we reached our destination.

Pressing me against the car, he kissed me again, making it last a little longer than the previous one. Once again, my heart thumped wildly and my stomach flipped flopped.

How does he make me feel this way? I thought I was insane before, but nothing compares to how insane I am now. I actually thought that he loved me back. I chuckled, the thought tickling me.

Brendon lifted his lips from mine and stared at me with a confused look. "What's so funny?"

I giggled. "Nothing, it's just that-" I swallowed. "I keep thinking that you love me back, when I know you don't."

He frowned, a line creasing in his forehead. I felt him remove his arms from my waist and he used his hands to put on my shoulders. "Ryan, you have no idea how much I love you. I always have. Every time I look at you, my heart does this little flutter thing. I've never felt this way about anyone before."

"But what about... her?" I asked.

He shrugged. "What about her?"

"B-but, don't you love her?" I stammered. I was extremely confused.

He was about to say something, then paused. "I don't know, I guess. But I only married her because, well, I hoped that would take my mind off of you. So far, it hasn't worked."

I opened my mouth to speak, but he put a single finger on my lips. "We'll be together. I don't know how, but we will."

He opened up my car door and helped me inside. Looking up at him, I begged him with my eyes not to leave. I couldn't bare the thought of going back to my house again. Alone.

He sighed, walking to the other side of the car. Now that both of us were in the car, I turned on the engine and drove back to my house, snowflakes still falling through the sky. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you likey? I bet you do! Because it's fabulously well written (I've had a LOT of practice) and come on, it's a Rydon story! Well, I guess that's all for now. I really need to get to bed and actually get some sleep. Last night, I only got like three hours of sleep.

Ciao (Something Brendon would say)

P.S.- I'm so happy for Patrick and him getting the reviewing job with Rolling Stone. Though Brendon is extremely hot, he doesn't compare to Patrick. Not only is Patrick sexy, he is also EXTREMELY talented (not that Bdon isn't talented). Oh, speaking of Bdon, I also want to say congrats to him and his engagement. Though I am very sad that he is off the market for good, I'm still happy for him and I wish him the best of luck. Another good thing about Patrick: HE'S FREAKING SINGLE!!! :DDD (I think.)